if i must see you in my dreams, please don't wake me...

i went to the hospital and see mommy...wow, the jam took us about like a 75 minutes drive to KL's gleneagles medical centre...somewhere in KL la.... den i was walking into the ICU or was it IUC ward..and it was so freaky..the bloody hospital looked like a freaking hotel/shopping mall..
anyway, so we went there and we went into see mom..omga!! it's like..mommy was just lyin' there not moving and awake...gawsh, her talk was like a mumble..and there were so many tubes on her..nose la, hand la and all the crap and the monitor screen was showing the pulse and all..
when i saw i wanted to cry but daddy was talking to mom and smiling and grandma was just looking alrite and my sis, fran was just fascinated with the hospital..
i wanted to cry but i held on to my tears...when i got into the car i cried..aisks..i cried and i fell asleep...ahahahx i mean like...looking at your mom...so weak and not being able to eat and drink water eventho she's so thirsty...and she'll be lying there for at least a week..it hurt me..
throughout the whole day, so many ppl were msg-ing me..asking me am i alrite...how's my mom..and sandy called..aunty kelly called...and God answered my prayers!! love ya, God!! pn. jasminder called!! ahahx..but at least mom's alrite..that's just fine..there's nothing more i want to ask for but mom to be safe and sound...
i saw the tumor...it looked like a grape..slightly larger than a grape but grapish kinda thingie...ahax looked really weird and kinda disgusting but at least it's outta mom's body..the doctor said luckily they took it out because it's been there really long and he was suprised mom didn't notice the side effects because the tumor was filled with pus or watever..EWWWWW having goose pimples...urgh!! let's not talk about it now..dad wants me to sleep..
night before last i slept 2 hours and last night i slept for an hour..
somehting is wrong with me..i'm sleeping less and less and less...and i don't even feel tired/sleepy..darn it..
this ain't me!! i'm suppose to sleep like a pig!! but sumi reckons it's the panic feeling that caused it...she had the same thing during the interact carnival..
okla..i know i'm sleepy and tired...i better get to bed..